Dihydrogen Monoxide Ban Sought — A petition was passed at the just ending Cancun Climate Summit in which a ban for dihydrogen monoxide was sought. Summit goers were told that the substance contributes to the greenhouse effect, is a major substance in acid rain, can be fatal if inhaled, causes land erosion and is used in nuclear power plants, and the production of pesticides. The petitioners said the ban would cause a reduction in the gross national product of the United States by 6 percent.
The summit goers happily signed their names.
Dihydrogen monoxide can be written as D2MO.
What was illustrated, of course, was that those leading the environmental movement are idiots.
The video record can be found here.
Dihydrogen Monoxide Ban Sought
ET Ambassador Named By UN — A person has been officially designated to greet extraterrestrials. Believable? No, it’s UN-believable as the designating was done by the United Nations.
The lucky ambassador is Mazlan Othman , a 58-year-old Malaysian astrophysicist who heads Unoosa which stands for United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs which you likely never heard of so chalk it up as learning one more UN-believable new fact for the day. If you are a fellow American, this hopefully makes you feel warm and fuzzy since we are the ones mostly paying for it.
It is expected that Mrs. Othman is going to be required to master certain phrases in her new job such as “phone home”, “Klaatu barada nikto”, and, hopefully, “it’s a cookbook”.
The real irony is that the ones who think this is a neat idea are the same ones laughing at Christine O’Donnell.
ET Ambassador Named By UN
Finch Fuzz Say Respect My Authoritah — In the early morning two days after the Lancaster Intelligencer Journal/New Era carried a feel-good feature about how a grandmother nursed back to health a house finch found by her German shepherd and how the bird became a pet and followed her around the house singing, a Pennsylvania Game Commission Officer and three armed cops showed up at her door with a warrant.
They wanted the bird. Yes, the grandmother, Pati Mattrick, — OK, she’s a 57-year-old grandmother — had broken the law . Apparently it is illegal in this state to heal a sick bird. One must turn it over to licensed “rehabbers”.
The incident happened in May but is now starting to percolate into the rest of the state and, unfortunately, the nation. Having fools and petty tyrants in authority are never things about which one should boast.
Hopefully, the accompanying cops were restricted to just one bullet each and prohibited from keeping their service weapons loaded.
Kudos to Lancaster County District Attorney Craig Stedman who seems sincerely ticked. “At best, this case was a grossly misguided abuse of law enforcement discretion,” he told the Philadelphia Inquirer. ” At worst, it was just plain cruel.”
Earlier this month, he decreed that all game officers go through his office to obtain search warrants rather than simply via a local magistrate.
Finch Fuzz Say Respect My Authoritah
Universities including Princeton, Arizona State and Case Western Reserve experimented last year with allowing students to use Amazon’s Kindle for textbooks. It was just a pilot program but if it managed to fly just about everybody would have saved money, time and aggravation, and of course many fewer trees would have been destroyed.
Well one of the many groups in this country dedicated to scratching the scabs off of grievances filed a complaint with the Justice Department citing the American with Disabilities Act and claimed the policy violated the civil rights of the blind.
The DoJ is now run by Barack Obama and Eric Holder. So, did it direct the universities make certain that the textbooks be also available in Braille or audiotape? Did it postpone action in lieu of Amazon’s promises to make the Kindle more accessible to the blind?
Of course not. It squashed it, as they might say, como una cucaracha.
If only Amazon had been smart enough to grab a nightstick, put on a beret and make racially disparaging remarks outside a Philadelphia polling place.
Non-Diet Soda Pop From Food Stamps — Congressman Collin Peterson, a moderate Democrat who represents the 7th District of Minnesota, wants to prohibit the 39 million monthly users of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)– which the federal Food Stamp Program has been called since Oct. 1, 2008 — from using their electronic benefits transfer card from buying soft drinks with sugar .
The average American who reads that will say “Food Stamp recipients can buy Pepsi with my money?”
And the answer is of course, you silly person. Not only Pepsi and Coke and Gatorade but cocktail mixes, artificial sweetener, warm bread from the bakery, hoagies from the deli and stuffed olives from the salad bar.
Peterson suggestion is motivated more by concern about America’s poor being too fat — what a country as Yakov Smirnoff might say — than a desire to encourage them to find jobs, but I’ll walk this path with him.
And if he really wants to help the poor stay healthy I’ll prod him to quicken his pace. How about we restrict purchases via SNAP to milk, butter, eggs, cooking oils, fresh fruit and veggies, bulk grains and beans, and locally produced honey. Note, I’m saying fresh fruit and veggies not canned or frozen. This will help keep them from getting into a rut.
I’m including honey because deep down inside I’m a bit of a bleeding heart and I feel that this will give the SNAP participants a chance to play-pretend they are on the Food Network’s Chopped show.
And why do I have this strange feeling that most SNAP participants have access to cable television?
I’m leaving off meat because I’m hoping to get PETA to sign on.
SNAP cost taxpayers about $58 billion per year.
Non-Diet Soda Pop From Food Stamps
The United Nations announced April 28 that Iran has been named to a four-year seat on its influential Commission on the Status of Women.
In related news, Iran has announced that it will begin jailing women with suntans.
Smartest Liberal Publication In The World Covers The President — Liberals really are stupid. They are the kind that would tell jokes about Jewish merchants at a discussion on the problems of the Mideast. The problem for the rest of us is that they don’t realize this, and in fact consider themselves rather brilliant. This means that they close their minds and inure themselves to correction to such a degree that they viciously attack those who attempt to provide it. After all, those who deign to disagree with them have to have some kind of serious character flaw such as racism or misogyny.
Anyway liberals really are stupid. The crown jewel of the liberal media establishment is the Washington Post which provides guidance to liberal politicians, bureaucrats, academics and lesser media figures throughout the world.
Yesterday, they ran a story about President Obama pushing alternative energy in Iowa. In lieu of the President’s pix, however, they used one of Malcolm X.
Expect President Obama to soon send National Security Adviser James Jones to Arizona to deal with our own border crisis. And expect his remarks to go something like this .
Smartest Liberal Publication In The World Covers The President
Justice Department Seeks Retarded, Mentally Ill Lawyers — The U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division is seeking up to 10 experienced attorneys for the position of Trial Attorney in the Voting Section in Washington, D.C. The Civil Rights Division is primarily responsible for enforcing federal statutes and executive orders that prohibit, among other things, unlawful discrimination in voting, education, employment, housing, police services, public accommodations and facilities, and federally funded and conducted programs.
The Civil Rights Division encourages qualified applicants with targeted disabilities to apply. Targeted disabilities are deafness, blindness, missing extremities, partial or complete paralysis, convulsive disorder, mental retardation, mental illness, severe distortion of limbs and/or spine.
Sarah Palin speaks and Obama jumps.
Justice Department Seeks Retarded, Mentally Ill Lawyers
New York Sought WTC Back Taxes — An attempt by New York City to try to get $34.8 million in back property taxes for the Twin Towers and two nearby buildings was slapped down, Dec. 9, by Administrative Law Judge Marlene F. Scwhatz of the city’s Tax Appeals Tribunal.
The city claimed the property was subject to 3.9 percent commercial rent tax through 2005, when the state legislature ended the tax for all properties below Canal Street, and that despite the destruction of the buildings by terrorist on Sept. 11, 2001, “the airspace that had been surrounded by the buildings still existed.”
Property owner Larry Silverstein pointed out that the government seized control of the entire site in 2001.
New York Sought WTC Back Taxes
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Oscar/Nobel/Pultizer-winner, former Vice President Al Gore — the Buckaroo Banzai of the tree set — consider themselves to be decisive, assertive, purposeful men seeking to save the world. Yesterday, they were dramatically taped at Copenhagen decisively, assertively and purposefully walking into a broom closet.
See the video here.
All that’s missing is for Brown to rap Gore on noggin and call him a knucklehead, and for Gore to start spinning on the floor.
The Men Who Seek To Rule The World