BillLawrenceOnline

Courtesy of Cathy Craddock

Geared toward women but everyone should take a few minutes to read this.
It may save your life or a loved one’s life.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :

The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you and RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, so he will go for the wallet/purse.

 

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will.

This has saved lives.

Ed, Note: Actually, the first thing to do is to look for the inside trunk release that newer vehicles have.
 

4. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.

DON’T DO THIS!

The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity
for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head

DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF!

Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car.

Your Air Bag will save you.

If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it.

As soon as the car crashes bail out and run.

It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

(A) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

( If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

(C) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard or policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
(And better paranoid than dead.)

 

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!

 

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.

Ed. note: In other words, serpentine. How to do it:

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:

STOP … It may get you raped, or killed.

Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.

He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle which is when he abducted his next victim.

 

9. Another Safety Point:

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her

‘Whatever you do, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR.’

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over.

The policeman said, ‘We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’

He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

 

10. Water scam!

If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

By William W. Lawrence Sr

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Answer to yesterday’s puzzle: In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.
Paul Harvey

Christopher Dorner, the well-armed former Los Angeles cop who is the suspect in a murder spree that has left at least three dead in southern California, is a liberal according to a manifesto he has posted on Facebook.

Dorner praises President Obama and defends Michelle. “You call his wife a Wookie,” he says regarding those with whom he is upset. “Off the record, I love your new bangs, Mrs. Obama.”

He says he’s rooting for Hillary Clinton in 2016 but also like Chris Christie. He advises Christie to lose some weight.

He strongly defends gun control which makes sense as those without guns will be easier for him to kill.

He supports gay marriage and women in combat. One of those whom Dorner is suspected of killing is a woman.

Oh, he also says the Bible is a work of fiction. One imagines that he is certainly praying that it is.

In a related matter, Floyd Lee Corkins II pleaded guilty, yesterday, Feb. 6, to a federal firearms charge, a Washington D.C. assault charge and a Washington D.C. terrorism charge for an Aug. 15 incident in which he shot a security guard at the  headquarters of the Family Resource Council. The guard, who was hit in the arm,  managed to wrestle the gun from Corkins and subdue him.

Corkins used a 9mm handgun. He had two loaded magazines and 15 Chick-fil-A sandwiches with him. He told investigators that he wanted to kill the people there and smear the sandwiches in their faces due to the organization’s opposition to homosexual marriage.

He picked Family Resource Council as the target because the leftist Southern Poverty Law Center listed it as a “hate group” on its website.

Courtesy of Cathy Craddock

DEMENTIA QUIZ

FIRST QUESTION:
YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE
THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE
SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!

TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
BUT DON’T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SECOND QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE….?
(SCROLL DOWN)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE…..
WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??

YOU’RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?

THIRD QUESTION:
VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC!
NOTE:
THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY. DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR.
TRY IT.

TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER1000 NOW ADD 30.
ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000.
NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

DID YOU GET 5000?

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100…

IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IT, CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR! TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT?

MAYBE YOU’LL GET THE LAST QUESTION RIGHT…. MAYBE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

FOURTH QUESTION:

MARY’S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS:
1. NANA, 2. NENE, 3. NINI, 4. NONO, AND ???

2 WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN’T.
HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OKAY, NOW THE BONUS ROUND,
I.E., A FINAL CHANCE TO
REDEEM YOURSELF:

 

 

 

 

 

 

A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH.
BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE
SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE.
NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A
PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?

Talk about cold-hearted 1-percenters.

Penn and Yale whose big bosses make close to seven-figures — even not including the perks in some cases — and who are sitting on billions in endowments are going after those having trouble in these Obama years paying back their Perkins loans which are given to those with “exceptional financial need”.

In the last few years, needy U.S. borrowers have defaulted on almost $1 billion in these federal loans.

Well Yale and Penn are suing them to get their money back.

Those hateful, greedy capitalists. I betcha the President will renounce the support they’ve almost universally have given him and fellow Democrats.

Not.

By William W. Lawrence Sr

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Answer to yesterday’s puzzle: The best way to destroy the capitalist system is to debauch the currency.
Vladimir Lenin

Courtesy Helen Shallow

There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class.
One day while the class was in the lab, the professor noticed one young man, an exchange student, who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.
The professor asked the young man what was the matter.
The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back.
He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country’s government and install a new communist regime.
In the midst of his story, he looked at the professor and asked a strange question.
He asked: “Do you know how to catch wild pigs?”
The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line.
The young man said that it was no joke.
“You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the
woods and putting corn on the ground.
The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free corn.
“When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence.
“They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side.
“The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat that free corn again. You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.
Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom.
They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught.
Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.”
The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening in America .
The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tax exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc., while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time. One should always remember two truths:
There is no such thing as a free lunch, and you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.
If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then  God help us all when the gate slams shut as pigs in the pen invariable end up in the slaughterhouse.
Quote for today:
“The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those who vote for a living.”
–Anonymous