Month: March 2012

Why You Shouldn’t Take A Monkey For A Joyride

Yesterday, we learned why you shouldn’t give a chimp an AK-47.

Today, we learn — from Luzerne County, unsurprisingly — why it’s a bad idea to get drunk and take your dad’s monkey for a ride on a stolen ATV.
Police said that yesterday,  March 19, Jeff W. Arnott Jr., 23, stole an all-terrain vehicle and went on a intoxicated joyride yelling and screaming incoherently. At about 4 a.m., law caught up to him and saw that he had a passenger that was a primate, namely a java macaque that can grow to almost two-feet in height and weigh up to 20 pounds.

“He didn’t even have it on a leash or anything. It was sitting in the back, going for a ride,” said Gerald Kapral of the state Game Commission

When the ATV was finally stopped, Arnott and the monkey fled in different directions, police said. Arnott was quickly apprehended but the wily monkey managed to elude pursuers which led to a day of terror in Northeast Pa since police put out bulletins describing the critter as “dangerous”.

Just imagine if Mr. Arnott had given the monkey an AK-47. Just imagine if the monkey had had this weapon during the police pursuit.

After an hours-long monkey-hunt, the suspect was finally convinced to surrender by its owner James Arnott, Sr., who had had the animal for 15 years raising it from a baby.

It is  named Tyler Mikye. 

Family members said Tyler Mikye would swim in the family pool, play with the neighbor’s dog and drink alcohol.

Arnott Sr. cried for hours after authorities hauled it away as it is illegal to have a monkey as a pet in this state. 

Charges are expected.

The younger Arnott is  was jailed in Luzerne County Correctional Facility in lieu of $25,000 bail on charges of  receiving stolen property, resisting arrest, harassment and flight to avoid apprehension.

Wrongdoers Can Now Ante Up Online In Pa.

Pennsylvanians can now pay their traffic tickets, fines and restitution at an online “one-stop shop”.
The announcement for this new service was made yesterday by The Administrative Office of Pennsylvania Courts.
It works for both magisterial and Common Pleas courts.  
Defendants can now settle multiple outstanding debts in one visit, with a single transaction fee of $2.75. 
Hat tip Pennsylvanians For Modern Courts.

Ameritopia

Regina Scheerer has submitted this link to this C-Span interview with the always excellent Mark Levin regarding his book Ameritopia, The Unmaking of America.

Why You Shouldn’t Give A Chimp An AK-47

This short educational video from West Africa demonstrates what happens when one gives a chimp an AK-47, and why one should not do that.

Debate Of The Week

What animal has the most powerful bite?

National Geographic reports that most powerful ever recorded is that of a saltwater crocodile at  3,700 pounds per square inch. 

Computer simulations, however, put the bite of a great white shark at 4000 psi.
We await the courageous soul who will resolve this.
For those interested, the bite of man tops at 200 psi. Lions and tigers reach 1,000 psi.
Pit bulls surprisingly reach just 235 psi significantly less that that of dog-bite champ the rottweiler which clamps down at 328 psi.

Caylee’s Bills Now Before Pa. Senate

The State House sent to the Senate last two measures aimed at further protecting the safety and welfare of children in Pennsylvania, reports State Rep. Jim Cox (R-129) 

House Bill 1841 would strengthen the penalties against someone who makes false reports to police during a criminal investigation involving a child. House Bill 1842 would strengthen the penalties for the crime of concealing the death of a child. 

Both bills would upgrade the respective offenses to third-degree felonies and increase the maximum penalties to seven years in prison and a $15,000 fine. The law would apply to a natural parent, stepparent, adoptive parent, guardian or an individual involved in an intimate relationship with the child’s parent. A person responsible for a child’s welfare, such as a babysitter, teacher or coach, would also be subject to the law. 

The measures were introduced in response to the recent Caylee Anthony homicide case in Florida, and together are known as “Caylee’s Law.” 

Pa. To Have World’s ‘Greenest’ Building

The Center for Sustainable Landscapes at Phipps Conservatory in Pittsburgh is expected to be the “greenest” i.e. most energy efficient building in the world when it opens this spring.

Besides the low-flow faucets and rainwater harvesting and such, it will be largely heated and cooled by solar panels, a geo-thermal system and fancy air exchange technology.
It will have vertical-axis wind turbines to provide energy and use “living machine” wetlands to treat wastewater.
“Designed and built by people from Pittsburgh and Pennsylvania as an innovation for the world, the CSL will serve as a model for how reconnecting with nature can inspire an abundant and harmonious future,” says Phipps Executive Director Richard V. Piacentini.
The “living machine” wetlands sounds similar to the waste-water control system at an office we once had. Water for the coffee came from a well after which the used coffee was recycled into a cesspool.

Off The Internet –Jesus And The Democrat

Courtesy of Kate Rainey
A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting over there? 
The waitress nodded “yes,” so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him. 
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus, over there?
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, “My treat.” 
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches.
He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, “Hey there honey! How’s about getting me a cold glass of wine?” He too looked across the restaurant and asked, “Isn’t that God’s boy over there? 
The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of wine. “On my bill,” he said loudly. 
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door. 
Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling. 
The Democrat jumped up and yelled, “Don’t touch me … I’m collecting disability.” 

Some Sad News About ‘With Pen In Hand’

It is official. Dr. Cecilia Evans wonderful writing program “With Pen In Hand” which has been meeting at the Media Fellowship House since Y2K is going to end.

Last day is June 2.

Saint Patrick’s Day Snarls In Springfield, Pa.

Springfield, Pa.’s Saint Patrick’s Day Parade is certainly thriving.

Traffic is snarled throughout the township for the event’s 34th year and there is hardly a parking spot left within a half-mile of Saxer Avenue.