We are providing this service to help you better understand and deal with circumstances such as rants from crazy relatives at family cookouts and such. Feel free to thank us in a material way:
The theory:
Recent mass murderers Wade Michael Page who killed six at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin and James Holmes who killed 12 at the opening of “The Dark Knight Rises” in Aurora, Col. were unwitting subjects of government mind control experiments that occurred as a consequence of career choices they made. In Page’s case the foul deed was done to him during his duty as an Army “psychological operations specialist” while with Holmes it happened while studying neuroscience at the University of Colorado.
So in order to:
A. Get Mitt Romney elected
B. Get Barack “The Incompetent” Obama re-elected
C. A and B because both are pawns of the New World Order
D. Some undefined but really, really bad reason
a special signal was sent out through a GWEN transmitter directing the men to go on their rampages.
GWEN stands “Ground Wave Emergency Network” which was started during the Cold War to ensure military emergency communication would exist in the event the Soviets donated an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) bomb above us destroying just about everything with a computer chip.
Frankly, we, in our paranoid moments, want to see the expansion of GWEN and other EMP counter-measures because we, like former congressmen Curt Weldon and Newt Gingrich, are far more afraid of an EMP attack from a suicidal Islamic-terror supporting government than a crazy rant about mind control.
So, now you are enlightened and prepared. Feel free to thank us. Materially, we mean.