Frank Feldman

Frank FeldmanThis bit of humor is courtesy of Cathy Craddock

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Frank Feldman… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was somebody really special.”

Cabbie: “Oh hell there’s more”. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat it with. And he could fix anything—. Not like me -I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made  mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never argue back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! I never knew him to make a mistake! No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well… I never actually met Frank.   He died, and I married his wife.”

For more jokes visit here.

Omnibit Of The Day 11-29-13

Omnibit Trivia 11-29-13 by William W. Lawrence Sr.

Q. I was raised in Brooklyn. I was once the editor of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. At other times I was a printer, carpenter, teacher, government clerk, and Army nurse during the Civil War, and a poet. What’s my name?

A. Walt Whitman.

 

Charlotte Laws Fought Cyberbullies

Charlotte Laws Fought Cyberbullies -- A California mom angered after a topless photo of her daughter Kayla was placed against her will on a pornographic website designed to demean women was stalked and faced threats of death and torture after she took on its technically adapt owner and his patrons.A California mom angered after a topless photo of her daughter Kayla was placed against her will on a pornographic website designed to demean women was stalked and faced threats of death and torture after she took on its technically adapt owner and his patrons.

With the help of the FBI and the “Anonymous” hacker group, Charlotte Laws ultimately prevailed.

To read her story visit here

Charlotte Laws Fought Cyberbullies

Affordable Boat Act

Affordable Boat Act


This particular “off the internet” i..e The Affordable Boat Act comes courtesy of Tom Flocco.

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: “The affordable boat act” declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These “affordable” boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an “affordable” boat of their own, because everyone is “entitled” to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 “free” life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can’t). If you don’t want or don’t need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can’t afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn’t know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories(like a $500 compass), or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so… it’s only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$) are also exempt.

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Annual Christmas Luncheon Dec. 8

 

Archbishop Stefan Soroka at a previous Christmas luncheon at Saints Peter and Paul Church.

Saints Peter and Paul Catholic Church, 100 S. Penn St., Clifton Heights, Pa., 19018, will have its traditional Slavic Christmas Luncheon, noon, Sunday, Dec. 8.

Featured will be traditional Slavic culinary delights such as kielbasa. pierogies (homemade), sauerkraut and other traditional foods including a table full of homemade desserts.

As has become  the custom, expect a large variety of door prizes.

Cost is $15 for adults; and $8 for children 7 to 12. Those under seven eat free.

The event is popular and seating is limited. To make a reservation call Kathy at 610-328-4731 before Dec. 2 or email SsPeterandPaul@verizon.net

The church asks that each person attending bring a non-perishable food item for its annual food drive.

Visit BillLawrenceDittos.com for Annual Christmas Luncheon Dec. 8
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America Being America

By Chris Freind America Being America

On a recent morning in Munich, Germany, an American hailed a cab. The driver, considerably younger than his mid-60s passenger, immediately recognized that his fare was from the States. Exuding a pride that broke out into a huge smile, he exclaimed, “Ich bin ein Berliner,” showing his keen awareness of JFK’s famous words in Berlin in 1962.

Such stories drive home the point that, despite our problems, America still means so incredibly much to the rest of the world. Truth is, if not for the incalculable blood and treasure the United States expended defending freedom, much of Europe and Asia would still be in rubble, its citizens living under tyranny.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in our issues, falling victim to pervasive negativity while forgetting our illustrious past and losing sight of all that we do right. This Thanksgiving, rather than selling ourselves short, let’s give thanks for the blessing of living in the most benevolent nation the world has ever known.

America’s past is certainly not without its faults, from slavery to internment camps, and from mistreatment of Native Americans to supporting brutal foreign leaders. But through it all, America is a nation that has uniquely conquered so many of its demons, expelling them in an attempt to rectify mistakes, to make things better — to make things right.

That liberalism (small “l”) has not gone unnoticed around the world. America, for virtually its entire existence, has been a beacon of hope for millions who crave freedom, tolerance and a fresh start.

When the Irish suffered during the potato famine, they didn’t head east to the much-closer Europe, but to the distant shores of America. In the aftermath of the Vietnam War, countless Southeast Asians, including many who fought against us, sought refuge in the safe confines of America. Millions who flee persecution and death from tyrants risk life and limb to make America their home. And why? Because America offers even the poorest and most downtrodden the opportunity to carve out a life not just of existence, but one whose standard of living is more than most would ever dare dream.

Like JFK, Ronald Reagan re-instilled faith in America, both at home and abroad, when he spoke in glowing terms of our nation as the “shining city on a hill,” whose potential and promise were limited only by one’s imagination. How right he was.

Just as President Kennedy intimately connected with a Europe in the middle of the Cold War, reassuring free peoples and inspiring those trapped behind the wall, so did Reagan when he bonded with millions by challenging General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union Mikhail Gorbachev to “tear down this wall.”

And that is exactly what happened. Because of America’s resolve, the wall of oppression fell, freeing more people from authoritarian rule than at any point in world history.

America remains the rock star of the ages, with the world wanting our blue jeans and Coca-Cola. Even more, they want to emulate us and everything we stand for; they want to be “American” in every sense.

Upon their nation’s surrender in World War II, many Japanese soldiers feared what their American captors might do to them. And the Americans did plenty.

They accorded the exact same medical treatment to the Japanese as to their own soldiers. They openly shared cigarettes with their prisoners — something that Japan prohibited when the tables had been turned. They fed the Japanese the same food that the Americans received. In short, despite many wartime atrocities committed by the Japanese against American POWs, America treated its vanquished foe with unprecedented restraint.

Most telling, during the surrender ceremony on the battleship Missouri, the Japanese officers were absolutely mystified as to how much dignity the Americans allowed them to maintain — certainly not expected since the United States was under no obligation, having achieved total victory.

It is exactly that kind of benevolence — doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do, with no strings attached — that still carries the day and earns the admiration of the world.

Throughout most of history, victors enslaved their conquered peoples and laid waste to their lands. Yet America has always done the opposite, pouring untold billions into Japan, Germany, Italy, and later, Southeast Asia and the Middle East. Unlike most countries, America, for the most part, has left the nations with which it warred and occupied better off than when it found them.

And when famines and disasters strike, it is always America that is first in, leading the way. While we’re still waiting for other nations to send aid for Katrina and Sandy, the United States has sent people, supplies and billions to help fellow humans in need: Haiti after its devastating earthquake; Thailand after the Christmas tsunami; Japan after its tidal wave and nuclear disaster; and most recently, leading the relief effort after the most powerful typhoon on record smashed the Philippines.

On that last point, one has to look only at how the world’s two biggest economies responded to the Philippines disaster, which left thousands dead and millions homeless, to see which has the true moral authority. America immediately sent millions in money, manpower, and aid, opened airports, rebuilt roads and sent an aircraft carrier to coordinate rescue, relief and reconstruction operations.

China sent $100,000. And no, that’s not a misprint. That was the incomprehensibly meager contribution from the world’s second largest economy to its neighbor.

So on this Thanksgiving, let’s say a prayer of thanks for who and what we are, and another prayer that America’s beacon of hope always remains lit.

And God help us all if we fall.

Here’s a toast to America! Happy Thanksgiving!

America Being America

 

Omnibit 11-28-13

Q – Who was Sarah Josepha Hale?

A – A famous magazine editor (Ladies Magazine, Godey’s Lady Book) during the 1800s. She is credited with writing verses to the children’s nursery rhyme “Mary Had A Little Lamb.” But more importantly she crusaded for and persuaded President Lincoln to make Thanksgiving a national holiday.

–William W. Lawrence Sr.

Who Said It?

Who Said It?This Off the Internet Trivia Quiz is courtesy of Marie Matinelli

Six trivia questions to see how much history you really know.  Be honest, it’s kinda fun and revealing. If you don’t know the answer make your best guess. Answer all the questions (no cheating) before looking at the answers.

Who said it?

1. “We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”

A. Karl Marx
B. Adolph Hitler
C. Joseph Stalin
D. Barack Obama

2. “It’s time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few…… And to replace it with shared responsibility, for shared prosperity.”

A. Lenin
B. Mussolini
C. Idi Amin
D. Barack Obama

3. “(We)…..can’t just let business as usual go on, and that means
something has to be taken away from some people.”

A.  Nikita   Khrushev
B. Josef Goebbels
C. Boris Yeltsin
D. Barack Obama

4. “We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give
up a little bit of their own … in order to create this common ground.”

A. Mao Tse Dung
B. Hugo Chavez
C. Kim Jong Il
D. Barack Obama

5. “I certainly think the free-market has failed.”

A.  Karl Marx
B. Lenin
C. Molotov
D. Barack Obama

6. “I think it’s time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched.”

A. Pinochet
B. Milosevic
C. Saddam Hussein
D. Barack Obama

Scroll down for answers

Answers
1. D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton
6/29/2004
2. D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton
5/29/2007
3. D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton
6/4/2007
4. D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton
6/4/2007
5. D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton
6/4/2007
6. D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton
9/2/2005

Want to know something scary? She may be the next president.

Who Said It?

Pa Hunters Share Harvest

Pa Hunters Share Harvest

Pennsylvania hunters and sportsmen are encouraged by the Pennsylvania Game Commission to consider participating in the state’s Hunters Sharing the Harvest (HSH) program, which provides donations of venison to local food banks, soup kitchens and families in need, reports state Rep. Jim Cox (R-129).

Started in 1991, HSH has developed into a refined support service for organizations that assist Pennsylvanians in need. Each year, Hunters Sharing the Harvest helps to deliver almost 200,000 meals to food banks, churches and social services feeding programs.

As part of the program, hunters are encouraged to take a deer to a participating meat processor and identify how much of their deer meat to donate to HSH. If an individual is donating an entire deer, he or she is asked to make a $15 tax-deductible co-pay, and HSH will cover the remaining processing fees. However, a hunter can cover the entire costs of the processing, which is also tax deductible.

To learn more about the program and obtain a list of participating meat processors and county coordinators, visit the HSH website.

Pennsylvania’s HSH program is recognized as one of the most successful among similar programs in about 40 states.

 Pa Hunters Share Harvest

Steve Barrar Statement Concerning Gas Tax Hike

Below is a statement sent by Rep. Steve Barrar regarding HB 1060 — the former SB1– which called for spending $2.4 billion in state spending on transportation projects will funded by an increase in the state gasoline tax along with hikes to various driver fees.

The final House vote came Nov. 21 and was 113 to 85 with a 64  Republicans and 48 Democrats voting aye, and 45 Republicans and 40 Democrats in opposition. Barrar was among the nays.

The day before the Senate voted, 43-7,  in concurrence with the House bill. Scott Hutchinson of the 21st District and Kim Ward of the 39th District were the only Republican dissenters. The Democrat minority went 17-5 for the bill.

Prior to the vote, Rep. Steve Barrar sent the statement to a member of the Delaware County Patriots.

“Thanks for contacting me about the SB1 transportation funding bill. I am opposed to this legislation and wanted to explain why I will vote against this bill today. Since learning even more about the numerous tax increases contained in the bill, I am determined to do all possible to defeat this bill unless there is an opportunity to amend it with language that will reduce the amount of the tax increases.

The tax increases in HB1060 the former Senate Bill 1 are excessive… 28.5 cent gas increase and .39 cent on diesel over 3 to 5 years will be hard for many people to deal with, plus the bill raises almost every fee there is at PennDot and places a $100 surcharge on traffic tickets. This bill will have a huge impact on small businesses and its inflationary impact is unpredictable.

The bill also allows counties to put on a $5 registration fee on every car in the county where you live. They can do anything they want with the money.

I have been out the past few months asking people and small business owner how they feel about this proposed legislation… over 80% have said no way would they support this bill. I stood at the WAWA last Sunday for 2 hours asking people about this legislation. I had a grand total of 1 person say they were OK with the bill. Most were surprised saying that they have not heard anything about a gas tax increase and many were very angry and demanded I promise to vote no for such a large increase.

I agree we need more money for transportation infrastructure, but we need a way to fund it that makes sense and reflects what we can afford !!! This bill hurts more then it helps and I can not support this proposal.

I appreciate your taking time to write me. If you need to discuss this further please contact me at 610-636-7924. Thank you!”

Stephen Barrar
Pa House of Reps.
160th Legislative District

HOW LOCAL REPS VOTED
District    / PA Representative    Yes    No
159    Thaddeus Kirkland (D)    X
160    Stephen Barrar (R)          X
161    Joseph Hackett (R)    X
162    Nick Miccarelli (R)    X
163    Nicholas Micozzie (R)    X
164    Margo Davidson (D)    X
165    William Adolph (R)    X
166    Greg Vitali (D)    X
168    Tom Killion (R)    X
185    Maria Donatucci (D)    X
191    Ronald Waters (D)    X

 

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