There Are Too Many Letters; Remove C
By Hawthorne Tarry
What I am about to suggest would likely be the most significant change to our culture within a millennium.
At the very least.
I am not boasting. I say this with reason and discretion.
Further, for those of you who are convinced of the certainty of global warming, my proposal might, literally, save the world.
I expected to be mocked. I expect to be laughed at.
But duty compels me.
There are too many letters. I propose removing the letter “c”.
Do we need it? Ask yourself, the “k” perfectly replaces the hard sound while there is no difference between a soft “c” and the sound represented by the letter “s”.
And we don’t have to stop with “c”. How pointless is the letter “q”.
The sound voiced by “qu” is no different than that voiced by “kw”.
Kwik like a bunny, hop, hop, hop. Barney Frank is a kweeeeeen.
See? Greater efficiency — what a stupid way to spell a word — without the loss of utility.
Children, innocent children, would not longer be burdened with having to learn 26 letters. This advance in education alone would be worth the small aggravation of change. Yes, traditions would have to end — the ABCs would become the ABDs; CNN would become KNN — but those would be minor prices well worth paying even without consideration of the greatest benefit.
And that of course, would be to the environment. Yes, the squirrels and the bambies and the butterflys will be the true beneficiaries (another stupidly spelled word) of my plan. It would take far fewer bits to transmit the same amount of data and that, obviously, means less fossil few used. And, of course, considering the old media fewer trees would have to used in publishing their stories.
Yes, the world could very well be saved. Think of the redundancies that would be eliminated. Buck would become buk; luck would be luk; and of course what is one of the most widely used words in English, the first one almost always learned by foreign students of our language
Ed note: Rant’s over Hawthorne. Konsider yourself sensored.
There Are Too Many Letters; Remove C
Thank you, Bill
Yes, I can predict the future like Nostradamus.
On the Winter’s night
The Crow flies beneath the full moon
The North Wind is in the house of ancients.
The bird is black.
Pretty good if I don’t say so myself.
Stay sharp for my first article!
Hawthorne R. G. Tarry
BillLawrenceOnline.Com’s newest contributor is Hawthorne Tarry.
I’ve known Hawthorne many years. He’s Ivy educated, speaks several languages and can predict the future like Nostradamus.
Obama Gets Black Belt — What a year for the young man from wherever. First the presidency, next a Nobel Peace Prize and now a black belt in tae kwan do bestowed by South Koren President Lee Myung-bak, a practitioner of the sport himself.
Lee was sort of grinning when he handed over the coveted honor.
Obama Gets Black Belt
Barack Obama Wins Cy Young Award — It’s been quite a year for the young man from Illinois (or Hawaii or Kenya or wherever).
Inaugurated as president of the United States on Jan. 20; feats in his first 12 days to garner him a Nobel Peace Prize nomination by the Feb. 1 deadline; beating 204 other worthy nominees to win the award — and its sweet 10 million Swedish kronor — on Oct. 9; and now to cap it off he has been named National League Cy Young Award winner for his performance in this year’s All Star game.
Take that those of you who say he throws like a girl.
The New York Times has asked that the awarding of the Heisman and Super Bowl MVP trophies be moved to December so he can win those as well this year. Megadittos, I say!! Megadittos!
Tip of the hat to Bob McCarty.